Stuff You Probably Don't Know - Part 3

I think about my mom nearly every day. Probably at least 5 days a week. My wife and I were just talking about this, actually. And it's weird stuff that makes me think of her. Like I was thinking the other day about when I would get my hair cut. I started going to a nicer place for it (somewhere that you had to make an appointment) and my mom made sure that I knew that I was supposed to tip her and approximately how much. That's kind of something that a guy just doesn't intuitively know for some reason.
At first after she died I thought about her all the time. I thought about how she died and I really struggled to get that image of her dying out of my mind. For several weeks I carried around a picture of her with me so that if that image was stuck in my head, I'd pull out that picture and really try to focus on it. I wanted to remember her the way she was in that picture, and not how she looked as she died. That's actually the toughest part about losing somebody. You have to try to conjure up those memories, and they don't come easily. You have to think more situationally. Like remember moments when something happened, or that really meant something. And those are the memories that you have to hang onto. The good ones. I'm scared though that as I get older and I spend more time without my mom that I'll begin to lose those memories. That I might forget her.
So yeah, that's really rambling, but it's something you probably didn't know. I didn't know most of it until I just wrote it. JM

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