This morning I woke up to go to the gym. I hopped in my car, turned the key, and listened to the silence that ensued. I hadn't changed the spark plugs in a while, and since that is a cheap electrical fix, I figured I'd try that (the battery is fine and it sounds as if the distributor and starter are fine as well). When I changed out spark plug number two, it was covered in oil. I don't know if that is the main problem or not, but I definitely need to change out my valve cover gasket.
This kind of thing is way beyond me, so I'm going to try to get a guy at church to help me. Hopefully the gasket will fix the problem and my car will be running fine with only a $30 investment. JM