That's Phat: F-A-T

Three years ago I weighed 132 pounds (I'm 5'9"). I was running about 40 miles a week. I could eat anything I wanted and I still struggled to keep weight on me.
I currently weigh 148 pounds. While that is certainly not morbidly obese, it definitely makes me look not skinny. So I've decided to try and lose some weight by the time I turn 30 (03.22.07). I don't want to get all the way back down to 132, but I would like to get down to about 136 or so. My plan is to start running again. The main problem with that is I have to ease back into it because I have patellar tendonitis in my right knee.
So hopefully I can get back down to my fighting weight over the next four months. JM

Good To Great

So I spend a lot of time wondering how long I should stay in middle school ministry. I've been in my present position for about 3 years now, and I love it. I love what I get to do, and I get paid to do it, so that works out well.
The problems come when I start to weigh out if I would love something else more. I really feel like God has given me a tremendous amount of ability, but that ability is spread out across many different categories. Some people God gave a tremendous amount of ability in just one or two areas. I feel I have that same amount of ability, just spread out. And therein lies the problem.
If I was great at music and horrible at everything else, then I would be a worship leader. If I was great at speaking, then I would be a teaching pastor. If I was great at student ministry, I would stay there. If I was great at creative arts, I would be a creative arts pastor.
But I'm not any of those things, or at least I'm not great at them. I'm good. I feel like I'm a good teacher, a good student minister, a good worship leader, a good creator, but I'm not great at any of them.
So hopefully I'll have a revelation one day and know for certain what I should be doing. Until then, I'll stay the course and hopefully find success and fulfillment.
JM

Danger!!

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
I'm from St. Louis, home of the world champion St. Louis Cardinals. Watching the world series was great this year because it wasn't a 4 game sweep like last year, it wasn't a 4 game sweep of the Cardinals like 2 years ago, but they actually won it this year. It's awesome especially since nobody gave them a chance.
Then out comes the news that St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the U.S. You win some, you lose some. The biggest problem in the STL is that very few people actually live there. It's a town of about 350,000, but it has a metro area of 2,800,000. So there is very little money coming in. All of the people that work downtown take their paychecks home with them back to the county.
In St. Louis' defense, it is a very nice city, and I have always felt safe there. There are certainly places I would not go, but the city has more public free entertainment than any other city I've ever been too. It's great, and if you have a chance, you should go for a visit. JM

New Book

So I've been reading "Do they run when they see you coming?: Reaching out to unchurched teenagers". It's pretty good. It falls in line with other stuff I've been reading lately as far as taking the church to the community and not expecting them to come to you. It's an interesting concept that I'd like to flesh out over the next few weeks in middle school ministry.
My Saturday Night Reality Check program that I've run every other week this fall has not done well. I'd like to change to something along the lines of taking things out into the community, but I'm not sure what that would/could/should look like. Hopefully I'll get clarity on it soon. We'll see.
This book is interesting, though. I'll be posting some thoughts from it soon, just to kind of help me struggle through the issues that it raises. JM

Mission Impossible

So last Saturday night we had our Mission Impossible event. I had hoped to have just over 100 kids there. Last year we had 96, so I figured 110 would be awesome, especially since I lost a strong 8th grade class since then.
Turns out we had 129 kids. 47 of those were from our church. That means that we had 82 students who do not go to our church doing an event with us. It went amazingly well. We had one girl accept Jesus. I started going through the registration cards the other night to see just how many legitimate prospects we have and it looks like it will be at least 15 kids or so that don't go to church anywhere.
It proved to be a good event for us. Good times. JM

Uh-Oh

So this weekend we run a program we call Mission Impossible. It's an outdoor capture-the-flag type game that we play in a field at night. It's really cool and will be the biggest thing we do all fall. I've hyped it for about 8 weeks now with flyers, posters, talk, and some love on the website.
But before I do anything like this, I always start to get really nervous. What if I forgot something? What if something doesn't work right? What if a kid gets hurt? What if only a few kids show up? What if too many kids show up?
So I start making lists. I start out with what I call a needs list, which is a list of everything that the program will need. Then I create shopping lists, event maps, program guides, job descriptions, and stuff like that. I spend so much time stressing over it, that by the time it actually gets here, I'm just ready for it to be over.
I say all this because I think that it's part of the way that Satan gets me to overlook the potential spiritual impact. If I focus so much on the miniscule and mundane, then I probably won't spend a lot of time in prayer for it. I'd like to see a chart on the average program I run with time spent for planning the event vs. time spent praying for the event. I definitely need to up the time I spend in prayer. I've done better this time. I'm more relaxed and less frazzled. I'm definitely in more of a "Be still, and know that I am God" kind of mindset as opposed to the "What if the generator breaks?" mindset. I'll let you know how it all turns out in the end. JM

Lonley Update

Well, it's amazing how fast a week can rush by. I had my week alone and had great intentions of accomplishing myriad tasks. My attempt was nearly futile. I found that opportunities expand proportionally to fill any anticipated free time. Basically, I had a really busy week, and got little to nothing done. Of my original list I did plant flowers, get the car inspected and cleaned out a closet. But that's it. I certainly could have been more productive, but I had some activity every night except for Friday night, so I stayed pretty busy. I guess that helped the time pass and now my family is back, which is definitely more desirable than having grass on the hill in my backyard. There's always tomorrow. JM

5:00 AM News

I have a baby girl named Ana who is 7 months old. We haven't trained her to sleep very well, so she still wakes up sometimes to have a bottle. It's pretty easy, because we'll just prop the bottle up with her in the car seat, she'll drink it all, and then I can go lay her right back down.
Yesterday Ana woke up at like 4:55 AM. Not a problem. So I take her downstairs and get her bottle. I turn on the TV to check the weather because we were about to take Eryn, Noah, and Ana up to Nana's house in St. Louis, so I wanted to see if the drive would be nice.
So the 5:00 AM news comes on. There are two news anchors talking to me about traffic, weather, some robbery, and a host of other things that I really didn't pay attention to. All I kept thinking was, I wonder what time these people have to wake up? If they are ready to go live at 5:00 AM, I bet they have to be there by 4:00 AM. That means they would have to wake up at like 3:00 AM so that they could get showered and drive in to downtown. So in order to get enough sleep they would have to go to bed by like 8:00 PM.
Wouldn't that really limit the things you could do? They have to TiVo everything in primetime. They get no time alone with their spouse because as soon as the kids are in bed, they have to be in bed, too. They don't get to go out and have fun at night. It just seemed like a sad life to me. I felt really sorry for them. I almost cried, but by then Ana was done with her bottle, so I turned off the TV, put Ana back in bed, and went back to sleep. JM

Best Song Ever Written

Okay, so on Austin City Limits with Coldplay, Chris Martin referenced some song I had never heard of (I think it was an REM song) as the best song ever written. I didn’t really like the song, so I would have to disagree with him. (I think Tenacious D's "Tribute" talks about the greatest song in the world.)
But I wonder what the best song ever written really is? Obviously it’s going to be a matter of opinion, but my opinion should count more than anybody else’s, shouldn’t it?
I’ve always liked “Paranoid Android” by Radiohead, but I’m not sure if I can say it’s the best song ever written. Other songs I really like are “Thank You” by Alanis Morissette, “Perfect” by Smashing Pumpkins, “Brothers On A Hotel Bed” by Death Cab for Cutie, and “Magical Myster Tour” by The Beatles. I’m sure there’s tons more (“Sloop John B” by The Beach Boys), but I doubt I could ever say one is the greatest song ever written. That’s tough. JM

I'm A Hopeless Romantic

Lately, Eryn and I have been talking a lot about romance. Basically the conversation goes something like this:
Eryn – “You’re not romantic.”
Josh – “I know.”
I’ve always assumed that I am both the least romantic and least emotional person on the face of this planet. I don’t cry, don’t laugh a lot, and I have a tendency to focus a little bit too much on logic.
The other night I was watching Austin City Limits on GPB. Coldplay was the band on there, and they did an amazing job. It made me want to start a band and tour, it made me want to watch a good movie like Shawshank Redemption, it made me want to go outside and stare at the sky. I wanted to feel small, but like I was part of something much greater.
I started thinking, that’s what romance is, the excitement of being part of something much greater. It’s the emotion of feeling as though you’re playing a part in the great drama of life.
It made me realize that I really am romantic, but that people have different things that tap into that romanticism. For me, it’s being out in nature and seeing the world that God created. For my wife it may be something different.
So I’ve planned a date for us on 01.14.07 that I think she’ll enjoy. The activities aren’t romantic in and of themselves, but I think she’ll enjoy it immensely. I’ll let you know how it goes. JM